Random Rambling Reflections***

***Note: Well, I am once again in awe of how God works as we give whatever we have to Him…when I sat down to type, I had no idea how this would go, thinking truly it would be just a series of rambling thoughts and what I’ve been doing…God had a bit of a different plan I did not yet see! Praying you will be blessed, be encouraged, and that His Love will fill you to overflowing. 

A friend of mine commented just the other day during our phone conversation that she checked my blog and I had not written anything lately… Oh my goodness, it has been five months since my last post!?! How time has slipped by. Guess ‘tis true…at least as far as the blog is concerned. I told her I really hadn't had any ideas flowing again and I guess I could have shared my  most recent composition, but not really sure why I hadn't.

Well, it would have been totally out of character to have shared it only, since my postings are usually lengthy! Might have shocked my readers!!!!  Thought about trying to formulate some reasons or excuses, but that would likely only end up as useless chatter, wasted space, and wasted energy. So, here goes my first attempt for this year….as you read, it’s likely going to be quite evident as to why I selected the title.

Much of the past several weeks have found me struggling again with the ever-present and oft intensified Fibromyalgia symptoms, i.e., joint and bone pain, major fatigue, “Fibro Fog”, weakness, legs feeling as though they were encased with cement, nerve endings exuding fiery sensations from head to toe (best way I can think of to explain this sensation: imagine sparklers going off in and under your skin), and migraines, just to name a few! The holiday time spent with my family was quite enjoyable. I know others are also experiencing this same struggle.

In addition to spending time with my family during the holidays and enjoying everyone else’s cooking, I have also had several occasions since then to spend some time with my son, daughter-in-law, and three grandchildren at their home.  I even felt well enough a couple of those days to take the children on two different short shopping excursions (love getting to drive their Escalade!) even if it was only for only an hour or two. 

Still praying and searching for the right vehicle that will be comfortable for me to drive and will be affordable. It has been two-and-a-half-years now. Talk about an opportunity to learn patience and breaking down my resistance to having to rely on others for help!

I had the wonderful pleasure of meeting a new friend and sister-in-Christ this week. Again, contacting her had been on my list of things to do, but procrastination delayed intention until I was almost completely out of a couple of the products I needed.  I couldn't put it off any longer.

Now, you might wonder why I couldn't just go to the store and get something. Well, I have been using a certain brand and I do not have to worry about allergy issues and chemical sensitivities with it. It is safe. Turns out that the product line had been discontinued and that particular group of skin care products completely reformulated. She just happened to have ordered extra of the moisturizer that had been discontinued and had a couple of extra bottles on hand.

YAY! That’s good for me for now…In the long run, though, it simply delays the necessity of experimentation and finding something else that I am not allergic to and that doesn’t make my face feel as if it is suffocating.

  

The Fibro fog and fatigue does sometimes affect my ability to formulate my thoughts and interferes with my ability to focus and pay attention …. something like having ADD or ADHD. (Hmmm. In re-reading this, I do believe this is a perfect example of that statement of the title of this blog) lol. Thought about trying to change it and rework it, but, nah….) And, not being one to make New Year’s Resolutions, I did feel, however, that I needed to spend more time re-reading scripture and meditating on some excellent messages to which I have listened recently.

During this time, I have jotted down a psalm of encouragement inspired by the Holy Spirit and a few lines of a possible psalm/poem that is yet to be completed (may turn out to be more of a story message). My reading over the past couple of months includes the book of Hebrews, Romans, and several of the prophets. This morning, I began rereading in Matthew, beginning in chapter nine.

Almost a month ago, as I was thinking and talking to the Lord about where I was at, and trying once again not to be ungrateful, trying not to be grouchy, and not be a grumbler. I simply talked to the Lord and asked Him to graciously affirm His purpose for me for the present time. He did.

Even though our situations may not be what we would like for them to be or what we think they should be or look like and we do not seem to see how things can all work together for good, and even though we do not see or have answers to prayers that we would like to see or have, or do not have the fulfillment of things He has spoken or showed us, God’s Word is true and He is faithful.

We have a choice. We can choose to turn away from Him. Or, we can choose to submit ourselves to Him, to His Truth, to His wisdom, to His Care and accept what we don’t see and understand as a time of discipline, correction, and/or faith-building, faith-strengthening part of our journey. He sees what is ahead (things we cannot yet see) and He knows what we need to get there, where we need to continue to grow and mature. He knows how long we need to wait.

Besides, as we remain faithful, as we continue to believe and trust in Him, in the fullness of salvation through Jesus Christ, we have no idea whose lives our lives will be a witness to during the hard times and whose lives will be touched by the testimony that is ours because of what He has brought us through, because He is faithful.

May we choose to trust Him, to remain in His care and allow Him to show and work within our hearts and lives, especially in the things we do not understand and think should be different. May our light shine in the darkness that others may see the Truth and come to know the Father through His son, Jesus Christ. 

During the time I recently spent re-reading through Hebrews, this is what the Holy Spirit inspired me to write:

Let my spirit sing

As Your praises ring

Lift up my face

As I run this race

Whether sitting in place

Or picking up the pace

May my heart remain true

Oh Lord, To only You.

Scripture reference:

Hebrews 6:11-12, 19